Ramblings of a simple stoner

I feel so alone. So lonely in a crowded room. Im surrounded by people who really dont care. They dont even care about themselves. They just want fun and someone else to take care of them. No sense of altruism at all. They’re like hedonists in denial.

I crave a partner. I crave love. Even if just for a little while.

I define friendship as a partnership between 2 people for reasons beyond business. Love is when that partnership extends to include emotional support and caring to the point where full trust is achieved.

Thats all I want man. Is that so hard? I dont even care if its with a girl anymore, I just want some lovins from someone. :(

And it doesnt help that the sounds of sex constatly keep this jealous virgin up at night. :/

Also, I tend to be friendzoned a lot by girls….. Am I doing something wrong? I guess this magikarp needs a little more training….

Im getting there though…. I trying to get there….

Whelp, its valentines day and Im job hunting. On the way to a local mcdonalds, this random guy stopped me and asked me to do him a favor and that he would give me 5 bucks for it. Suspicious but poor, I agreed. He said that he needed me to deliver a vase of flowers to his sweetie at work because he didnt want to be seen by the receptionist. I did so and I totally made her day, if not her week. Smiles and thank yous all around. The random guy gave me 9 bucks too. I was a conduit of joy and happiness and got paid for it! :D Though valentines day is full of hype and consumerism, I was able to do good in the name of love today. :)

I need to be in a spongebob episode because OH GOD MY LEG!!!! My leg is so sore!!

Whelp, it looks like Ill be on my own in a matter of a couple months. Totally not ready for this, but I gotta do what I gotta do. Im getting $60 a week from plasma donation and I currently have a sign spinning job that gives me $8 an hour. My best bet is to work at the nearby mcdonalds and live in a shit studio apartment for a while.. I really hope I can make it. But if not, I know mom and dad will let me back in for a little while if I accept jesus and go to marijuana rehab. But holy shit thats a last resort..

Youd think that thats what I would be upset about… But before all this shit went down I considered myself a magikarp waiting to evolve into a glorious gyarados. I have a few problems that I want to overcome that will level me up enough to evolve. The main one is my fear of affection.

My surrogate sister here said she would help me with this problem. Said she would cut my hair, teach me how to dress, get me some girls.. But now that her boyfriend left her, shes planning on moving back with her ex in another town. I feel like shes forgotten about what she said or didnt care in the first place and I let her cut my hair for nothing… And now when I try showing affection (training, as I call it) she thinks Im hitting on her and its gross. -.-

I feel like Im being forced to be suddenly and fully independant for everything. Im not sure I can handle it right now. I cant start fighting until Im a gyarados..